Sunday, August 17, 2008

Counting my blessings!

Yesterday, I went to a wedding. It was a perfect day in many ways. My friend Gwenan and her now husband Sion had been planning the big day for over two years, and it went exactly to plan. Gwenan's dress was stunning, and both looked extremely happy. Even the weather stayed dry for the pictures, which was a miracle given what the forecast had been saying all week. Thank god the weather men and women were wrong!

The ceremony was held in Benllech, with the reception at Portmeirion. Its a stunning place, and so unusual. If you've never been, you really should make the effort. It really is a little piece of Italy in Wales, especially when the sun in shining. Though it is expensive to stay there, its certainly worth it. The view from my bedroom was breathtaking - I really wish I could have stayed in bed all day looking out onto the water whilst reading the Sunday papers. That really would have been heaven!

Weddings always tend to get someone thinking about their own romantic situation - well, it can't be helped really since a lot of the guests did ask the dreaded question: "And are you married?" before then going on to ask, "Why not?" with a look of pity on their faces. Given that I'd also been asked this at a Bryn Fon gig last Wednesday by countless people I thought it was time to address the issue...

The truth is I'm delighted that I'm not married or engaged. Had I married any of my serious ex boyfriends, I know that the marriage would never have lasted and worse of all, that I'd have been miserable with them. Yes, I would have had my big day but it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. None of them were right for me and its only with the benefit of hindsight that I can appreciate that. I'm sure they're all thinking the same as well!

If I ever marry, I never want there to be any doubt in my mind that I'm doing the right thing. I never want to commit to someone just because I think the time is right, or that I'm scared I won't get a better offer. I know there are no guarantees that anything will last forever, but on that day and on that point, I want to be marrying for love. I want to believe every word of the vows and look into my husbands eyes knowing that he feels exactly the same way. And if I can't do that, then I'll never marry. Simple as.

So people can look at me with pity in their eyes, but they really shouldn't. I'm only 27, and I honestly don't care that I'm not at that stage in my life yet. Love can't be planned to a definite schedule, and I'm happy to let other things take centre stage in my life at the moment, like my job, helping in mum's pub and my friendships... Ask me in ten years though, and I might have a different answer for you!

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